you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
