I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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