did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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