normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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