DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
my liver is dry heaving
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
