All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
