That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
