I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
