This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
