Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
