WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
