sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
