When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
