I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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