i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
