I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
