don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
