So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
