so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm passing your future prison.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
