Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I wear drunk well.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize