i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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