so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
