wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
