She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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