Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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