making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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