Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
