I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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