if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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