i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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