If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
