It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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