I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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