how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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