Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize