I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize