oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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