i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
