I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
