Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
