After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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