I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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