no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
false alarm, still single
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