Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize