I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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