I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
