she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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