Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
