dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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