Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
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I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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