that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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