I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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