if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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