So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
