so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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