...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
