ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
