I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
