We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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