Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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