I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
well you can't waste a boner
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she told me i tasted like america
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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