Just cropdusted the office
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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