If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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