You just made me feel so damn special
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
