Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
